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//Generally speaking it means that he still wants to have sex with you without the commitment. If he wants space give him space. Doesn't mean you can't be happy to see him or enjoy his company, but do not give him the benefits that come with a relationship if he's not willing to be in one (ie: sex, financial support or co-habitation).
I would say act like you're dating, but not dating exclusively him. Make plans with your friends, don't be quite so available, be open to meeting other people, and just in general start moving on and see how he feels about that. If you just hang around, put your life on hold and come running to every booty call, then all you teach him is that you are desperate and will put up with whatever terms he wants to dictate and he learns how far he can push you. This may not be his concious thought process, but your actions will determine what he learns about your limits and your tolerance for his behavior. In short maintain your self-respect and don't allow him to push your boundaries for fear that you might lose him. Best wishes!


//if you find it very hard to give him space, try to pretend he is out of town or somehow unreachable. when someone wants space, or time alone, it is not necessarily a reflection of your behavior or how he feels about you. it may be he needs to assess himself and his needs as an individual and it is hard to do so while involved in a serious relationship. just as there may be a time for you to "need space" to regroup as a person rather than as a partner or lover or girlfriend or daughter or mother or whatever, others may need time away from their regular daily activities to get a better idea of what they want to accomplish with their life.


//im 17 and have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. it started out perfect, he was crazy about me and i was everything to him. we used to see each other once a week out of dance lessons, but speak loads and also see each other in dance lessons. we got closer and closer and started spending a little more time together.
i soon realized i was madly in love with him. we'd never argued in that whole time, hes gorgeous and always treated me perfectly and told me he loved me. he came on holiday with me and my parents to spain after 10 months of being together, and he confessed that he thought i was the 'one' for him and he never wanted to lose me and wanted me to be his forever. by this point we'd never done anything remotly sexual except kiss. so i knew that was not all he wanted. i fell more in love with him and said i felt the same.
in the september we started fooling around sexually and that brought us closer and made us want each other even more. everything was still amazing. but when he started college things changed a little. he got this friend, a girl, who at first i hated and suspected something was going on because of the amount of time they spent together, and this caused me and him arguments and i always got upset. he had a go at me and told me he would never see her like that they are friends and if he liked her he wouldnt be with me. i trust him and believe him even still. but then problems started to grow. i began to get upset if he cancelled his plans on me and id be nasty to him, because i wasnt used to it and wanted him. this made him really angry and caused more arguments.
one night he went out with this girl mate of his and because i was upset he'd cancelled on me and was nasty again, he text me saying 'were finished' after a long hard cry, a million texts and fonecalls he admitted its not what he really wanted and that he did want to be with me, he just had a moment. so we were still together. in the january we finally slept together. no matter the tiny little problems we were having we were still in love and this made us even closer and he whispered to me 'id only do this because i love you'... we started spending more time together, stay in eachothers about 2 times a week and see each other randomly other days. i still started getting annoyed if he cancelled or upset if he went on and on about this other friend of his. this still made him really annoyed with me. he's still said only a few weeks ago that he wants me forever and doesnt want me to leave him, we've promised each other that.
but about two weeks ago he started asking me for some space. because of my moods and because he thought we were spending too much time together, he just said i need a little space. 'dont finish me' i said and he said 'im not baby i just need a little bit of space'.. so i let him have that and for the next few days i didnt call him or text him as much as i normally would, i left him to be with his friends and didnt mention anything about coming round or anything. then on the monday of last week he asked me to come round tuesday.. ahaa great he's chasing after me! i thought. and he was staying in mine on the wednesday aswel. tuesday night was great we didnt argue and had a fun night in.
wednesday was a different story though. he had just got a new phone and wouldnt put it down and kept texting and wasnt speaking to me, this annoyed me because he was in my house and wasnt saying a word. so i asked him to leave it alone and he got irritated. he then put it down and went all silent and was just staring at the wall. i asked him what was up and he said nothing, im just thinking. and i said about what? and he said us. i instantly started crying because i thought he was going to finish me. n said baby please dont and he said dont what and i said end this and he said im not im not.. i just dont think its working. i couldnt stop crying and i said it is working and he said 'maybe for you but not me. like i feel like im trapped down in a relationship and cant breath because you always make me be with you and if i cant you get upset or moody and i cant take it.' and i said im sorry and that id change that and he said he needed more space. he said a part of him thinks he should move on but he said he cant because he loves me so much and he is part of my family and so close to me. he also said if anything did happen that he'd never want me out his life, we'd still be best friends and he'd still come round and stuff but i simply cant do that because id want him more than a friend.
i was just crying and crying. he was being lovely about it and telling me not to cry, wiping the tears away and cuddling me but i just couldnt stop. he said 'just give me a week then, thursday to thursday lets not do anything outside dance'. so i said ok.. so were not together for a week? and he said no i dont want to be with anyone else were still together i just dont think we should spend this time together this week. so i agreed and said itl hurt me and he said hurting me was the last thing he wanted. i said id give him as much time as he needed but that i didnt think it was worth splitting up for, i just think we should spend less time togther like we used to when we were happy. and he agreed with me. i said do you still love me and he said of course i do and kissed me.
we kissed quite a lot that night. didnt have sex but we were happy toether and he said he felt better already. we were cuddling a lot and fell asleep happy. when he was leaving my house the next day i began to cry again saying i was worried and he jus took my head in his hands and said dont worry i love you ok? and i nodded and he said its only a week. that night i was so upset because i was scared he wouldnt want me at the end of the week.its only two days later and i'm still crying a lot.
today in dance he was annoyed at me because i didnt like his new haircut, i made a silly joke which he laughed at at first and then he turned it into something it wasnt. at times he was okay with me but others he was off with me. i dont get it as he was being so lovely about it on the wednesday night.he said he wants me to just leave him alone for a week, still text/ring him but dont speak about the break. i cant help it though because i just want to tell him i want to get through this and i'm sorry for annoying him and everythin but i dont want to drive him away.
my friends have told me not to worry and think it will be okay and that we will still be togther after this week because he's still saying he loves me but i cant help but think negative. i actually cannot see my life without him its been so long and its amazing. he makes me the happiest person in the world, i miss him all the time and truely think we still have something incredable. iv never been so close to anyone before and the thought of losing him makes me want to die. im in love with him i really am, i cannot function without him.
im starting to get ill though. i cant eat properly and feel sick when i get upset over him which is most of the time. i just want to be with him and am petrefied he is going to break up with me next thursday. i cant let him go i'm too in love.i try to not text him or ring him as much but i cant help it sometimes because i dont want him to forget how it is to have me there telling him i love him and stuff.
if there is anyone who could give me some advice on how to keep us together and to make me happier please help. i cant do anything anymore i have lost interest in a lot of things because i cant stop thinking and worrying over him. hes my baby and i really cant let him go. please help


//Okay...let me tell you first of all that I am an old lady...I am 44 and that is most likely ancient to you. But I do remember being 17 and feeling what you are feeling. Can I tell you now that you will feel this many times over?
You are giving your boyfriend a whole lot of power and control over you that he probably does not want. There is some stupid saying about holding sand...if you squeeze too tightly...the sand leaves your hand. But if you hold it gently, you can keep holding onto it.
When you say things like that you can't let go or you couldn't handle if he broke up with you...I worry.
Do not let this experience make you feel sick or depressed.
I am going to suggest things you may not want to do but...you have to find focus in other things outside of this young man. He will enjoy you more if you are not so focused upon him each and every moment.
Let him come to you. You must be prepared that he may choose to go. Allow him that option and I bet he will come to you. If not...it is better that you know now and can move on.
You have so much life ahead. He may be the one or he may be teaching you things for your future. Remember this time...it goes so very fast.


//I'm in the same position as you. However I'm 16 and he's 18. It's down to fine details though and I know how hard this for you.
You can't bare to be alone can you.. The thought of sitting there without him kills you.. You want to spend every minute of the day with him, telling him you love him more than anything every few minutes. Being in his arms is the only comfort you seem to find.. The thought of being without him.. makes you feel like your not whole.
When he tells you he needs space... you go almost over the top.. begging desperately.. and looking a little bit scary to him.. making him want to leave even more.
One thing you have to remember is that he loves you.
I know how scary it is when someone that means alot to you has a friendship with someone else! I know how jealous you get! I also know that it eats you up all of the time. How dare she be with him! He means the world to you. How dare she get the privelege of his presence. You know how amazing he is don't you, the things noone else notices, I know you do.
I know.. I feel the same, what you've said made me cry to be honest.
All I can say is.
Absense makes the heart grow fonder :P
I mean, I know it's said alot but it's so true.
You want to know why everything was AMAZINGGG before you spent so much time together..
because you had to WAIT for it.. and so when you were together... you made the most of every single minute.
Waiting for the first cuddle and kiss, was hard.. but when you got it .. it was great.
My advice to you is just that when he talks about the girl.. bite your tongue.
Seriously. Unless he cheats or gives reason not to trust him, let him talk!!
Think about it rationally.. Your close to him! He is going to tell you stuff.
You should be more worried if he ain't telling you nothing.
He's been with you this long. You have a bond and it scares you that it could break.
Even though it looks as if this situation is down to him.. It's up to you.
Don't text him or call him. Let him contact you.
When he does. Tell him your going out.. To have a girly night, just go enjoy your time!!
If he see's you smiling your jobs almost done.
He loves you! All he wants is to see you happy.
From his point of view he's scared too. He feels like nothing he can do can make you happy.. which would worry someone who tries really hard. Space is what he thinks YOU need. Not him.
Prove to him that your ready to get back on track, keep smiling and be positive.
You might not be together. But you love eachother. That's more special that anything he'll 'have' with that girl.
Good luck. I'll save the page and if you message back, I will too.

Your Boyfriend Says He Needs Space - What You Should and Shouldn't Do If You Want to Keep Him

What's the first thing that happens when your boyfriend says he needs space? If you're anything like me and millions of other women they has happened to, you go into panic mode. You immediately start crying and you try whatever you can think of to make him change his mind. This may include becoming hysterical, yelling and begging him to reconsider. Chances are if you do any of these things, he's still going to leave and he may never come back. If you truly want him back, you've got to get a plan in place to make that happen and you've got to place your emotions aside in order to really be successful.

The one thing you absolutely must do if your boyfriend says he needs space is accept it, for now at least. You've got to show him that you're mature enough to accept change and that you respect him enough to give him what he wants. What you shouldn't do is to try and convince him that he's making the biggest mistake of his life. If you do that he's only going to resist any desire he may have to get back together with you because he won't want to prove you right. Just try and put a smile on your face, for the time being, and tell him that you understand that he needs time. A good way to set things in motion for a future reunion between you two is to tell him that you've been thinking about a break too. This may seem cruel but it actually will work to your advantage since men can't stand rejection.

The next thing you absolutely must do if your boyfriend says he needs space is to follow through with giving him that space. Stop talking to him for at least a few weeks. This means no contact at all. Don't fall into a pit of despair thinking that he's going to meet someone, fall in love with them and marry them within that time frame. He's not. He is going to start to miss you though. He's going to start thinking about all the good times you two shared and he's going to wonder why you aren't trying to chase him and get him back. It will make him start to wonder whether he's losing you for good. It's that wonder that is going to bring him right back to you.

Getting your ex boyfriend back is possible. If you are tired of worrying about a future without him and if you are at a loss about what to do to get him back, there is help. Every move you make and everything you say to him after your break up will either get you a second chance or will ensure he's gone for good. Why risk making a mistake that may cost you a future with the man you love most in the world?

There are proven techniques for getting your ex boyfriend back now. To learn step-by step what you need to do to get your man back. You'll even learn the exact words you need to be saying to him to win his heart back now. This helped me not only get back the man I adore, but it made our relationship stronger than ever. Please don't leave this to fate or chance. If you love him, don't let him get away.

What to do if your boyfriend needs time?

The one thing that many women dread hearing when they are in a relationship is that their boyfriend needs time. When a man says he needs time or space most women instantly see a break up in their future. This isn't always the case, and how a woman reacts to hearing her boyfriend say this can determine the entire outcome of their future together.

The phrase itself has become synonymous with men who want to end their relationships without really addressing the reason. Instead of telling their girlfriend why they no longer care for them, they simply suggest they need time to think or space to sort out their feelings. This is actually the case quite often and as long as a woman understands the steps she should be taking if she's in this situation, she may actually be able to lure him back into more serious commitment than they had before.

First instinct of some women is to burst into tears and beg him to stay. This will do more harm than good if your boyfriend needs time. Instead you have to try and hold back the tears until you are alone and tell him that you agree. Most men have readied themselves for an argument and will be slightly stunned to hear that the woman they've been seeing is in agreement about a separation.

You also must temporarily forget his cell phone number and email address. You'll have the urge to write to him and to pour out your feelings all in an effort to make him see the mistake he's making. Don't do this. Instead make a promise to yourself that you won't initiate any contact with him for at least a couple of weeks. Take it day-by-day. Keep yourself busy by completely focusing on your own life. The time will seem to move slowly but this is an important step in winning him back. Don't falter on this. Remain true to your promise to yourself.

When you do hear from him, don't be too eager to meet up. Let him ask a couple of time first and then when you do talk, allow him to fully express what he's been feeling. In many cases, the time apart will have left an empty spot in his life that can only be filled by you.

There are other conscious steps that every woman needs to take if she wants to get her ex boyfriend back. Doing the wrong thing can mean the end of the relationship forever.

Don't give up on him if you believe he's the man you are meant to be with. There are specific methods you can use that will make you irresistible to him again.

How To Not Care What People Think

1. Understand that the less you care what people think of you, the more they will like you. Why? Because no matter how much pressure there seems to be to become "normal", people like personality. People like other people that have something different about them. Personality means having something that sets you apart from other people. Quiet, dreary, "normal" people have a hard time making friends because, well, they're normal. There's nothing that sets them apart, and nothing that grabs peoples' attention. So, developing yourself and your personality gives people a reason to talk to you.
2. Learn to accept yourself for who you are and what you look like. That's the most important thing!
3. Think about why others might be judging you. What must their lives be like? Are they envious of you or even attracted to you? They might just have taken a dislike to you. Never mind these people - get them completely out of your life.
4. Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and say this aloud: "I am (me). I love myself, accept myself and those who judge my exterior will find it harder to know my interior".
5. Smile at those who judge you, if you feel like smiling (but don't fake it). Don't smile broadly as it will look like you want them to know something they don't. Just give a care-free, relaxed, gentle smile - but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to look at them. If people see you happy about something they will gather that you have a lot going for you in your life. It's the little gestures like that mean a lot.
6. Don't strive to become popular at school/work. If you don't care what people think about you, there's no reason why you should try to become popular.
7. Observe the people that are measuring your actions - don't be afraid to look someone in the eye. Note how ridiculous what they are doing actually is - why are they acting like that? Realise that if you are "worthless" then they are as equally nugatory as well.
8. 8
   Collect yourself. This world is for you, and it is for your neighbours as well, so make the best out of your experiences. Instead of pointing out the bad things about a situation, think and note the good things about it. "Look on the bright side" as they say.
9. Do what you want to do. If you have a phone or Nintendo DS, play a game or write a message to someone. If you like to do crossword puzzles, do some. If you like to do Sudoku, go ahead!
10. Don't be pretentious. Just because being carefree is ultimately necessary in a society of "robots", doesn't mean you have to overdo it "robot" style. For example, when you get the opportunity to make a friend, don't just blow them off because "you're a rebel and you don't care what they think".
11. Keep a diary. Each time you're feeling down, write a journal entry about it. When you're feeling better you can look back at the entry and think, "How did this pain make me stronger?"
12. Do not worry about how you walk or how you appear to others.
13. Once again, DO NOT try to become popular. People can smell desperation from a mile away. If they think you're trying too hard, they may want to push you around for fun just to see how far you'll go. Remember, you don't want to become the popular crowds' little lap dog, licking their feet and begging to bring them their coffee so that you'll seem like you belong.
14. Have faith in yourself If you lose faith in yourself, then why should anyone else have faith in you. Remember nobody can take your faith in yourself

How to Save Your Relationship by Knowing How Not to Spend Too Much Time Together With Your Partner

It is common to hear of couples being joined to the hip. But spending too much time together can hurt a relationship. Therefore, you should not spend too much time together with your partner so as to minimize potential conflicts.

There must be a healthy balance between ME (individual needs) and US (needs of relationship). This can be shown using a simple equation:

"ME + ME = US"

Too much "ME" can result in you and your partner drifting apart, while too much "US" can stifle your partner, causing resentment and undesirable conflicts.

So how do you nurture your individuality? You can:

1. indulge in an activity that you enjoy alone.

2. hang out with your friends. Update them on what has been going on in your life. It will be easier for your friends to accept your partner into your social circle this way.

3. spend the weekends with your families.

How much "ME" time you need depends on what you and your partner are comfortable with. For example, some couples seem to do well spending every waking moment together. To really understand the amount of "ME" time you need,

1. talk to your partner about how much time you prefer to spend with each other on a daily or weekly basis.

2. acknowledge and understand your partner's commitments outside your relationship. If need be, give your partner more space.

3. trust your partner and be confident with yourself. Make changes if what you have tried is not working.

However exciting it is to spend time together, remember that there are places to be and things both of you have to do.

Your world should never revolve around one person or relationship.

How to wake up early

Here is 9 most practical reasons for you to wake up early and things to do.

1. Work on yourself

Early morning is an excellent time for personal development. How many times you complained you don't have time to read that self-improvement book, learn new language or try new idea? Get up early and work on it in the morning! Quiet morning time is a god sent gift which you should use for growing yourself - professionally, emotionally, phisically, mentally and spiritually. Use this time to "sharpen the saw".

2. Exercise your body

Do I really need to comment on this reason? Body is the only thing you have in your control in this universe. So exercise at home, go jogging or go to gym (they open early), practice yoga training... The earlier you wake up, the more calories you can burn over the day and the better you will feel.

3. Get ready for big stuff

Clean up small stuff to take it from your way to big things you plan to do during the day. Jump on that bunch of emails sitting in your inbox so it doesn't drag your attention later in the day. Do those tasks you keep procrastinating on, and put a plan in advance of what and when you are going to do on this day.

4. Increase your productivity

If you start early, you make your day longer, you can do much more in one day than you usually do. Got a lot of work pressing on you? Wake up earlier, jump to work, you may be done by the afternoon...

5. Use morning time for thinking

Jim Citrin wrote: "The quiet of the morning is often the time when your mind is at its clearest and most well-suited to solving important problems". Read his article Tapping the Power of Your Morning Routine to get more insight on how valuable morning time can be. In the same article Jim reports that 80% of executives he questioned wake up at 5:30am or earlier. I believe it's what made them executives, though I know few occasions when it worked in the opposite way.

6. Go with the nature

The nature wakes up every day when the sun goes up. So should you because your body is a part of the nature! Of course it depends at what time sun goes up in your area (in some areas, it doesn't go down for half a year :-), but you have got the idea... You can double the effect if you go out and spend some morning time with nature surrounding you.

7. Medidate

Meditation induces well-being and emotional balance. If you start your day with meditation you will carry that balance through the day, improving your life. Morning is a better time for meditation because you are fresh, your brain is relaxed and mind is much sharper. The article at PickTheBrain is a good source of information on why you should meditate and how to get started.

8. Beat the traffic

If you spend too much time commuting to and from work every day, you can actually save time if you wake up and drive to work earlier. Even if you work fixed hours, by arriving to work earlier you can spend the extra time you've got on things listed above - reading, exercising, planning, and so on. It's free time for you, which otherwise you would waste in traffic jams. This advice was contributed by Rusty.

9. Do something for others

We all love surprises and you can spend this morning time preparing surprises for other people or just doing something for them. Try to live this extra morning hour for others, not for yourself. Remember, what is given freely with the best of intentions will return in abundance to the giver.

The Secret To Finding, Attracting And Keeping The Right Guy...

Many of your female friends have told you that he was a jerk and not worthy of you. Some of your male friends said that you had probably driven him crazy by looking for problems that didn’t exist. Others had explained that he was there for the sex.

These interpretations were unsatisfying, to say the least. You knew deep inside, that the truth was elsewhere. You neither dated a player, nor invented any problems. You even tried to compromise when a problem or a conflict occurred. However, a good advice was hard to come by, so you kept on doing the same mistakes.

While your girlfriends may have had good intentions (they wanted to comfort and encourage you), it is most likely that they did not understand the problem. To understand what you REALLY did wrong, you need to understand how men think in the first place. The truth is that by blaming the situation on the guy, you actually make things worse.

Instead of ignoring the problem and blaming the guy, wouldn't it be better if you knew exactly what you did wrong and how to attract and keep the man you want? Wouldn't it be better if you knew exactly how to communicate and understand men so you won't lose a great opportunity to have your dream man just because you made a mistake or didn’t know how to handle a specific situation?

But I have some good news for you. I know I can help you find your soft spots, identify the real obstacles that stand in your way to a meaningful relationship, and provide you with powerful tools that will help you better understand men, get them to open up, attract the right partner for you and keep him for good. These tools are the result of a documented 12-year research in which I have interviewed hundreds of women and couples worldwide.

This is a research I have started during my academic years and completed when I was already an experienced dating, marriage and relationship consultant.

The 5 Deadly Mistakes Women Make With Men Without EVER Realizing It...

The research I have conducted has helped me uncover several mistakes that many women are making when approaching, dating, communicating or while having a relationship with men. These critical mistakes are mostly self-repetitive and practically kill any chance a woman might have to reach a deep emotional connection with a man.

• Mistake No #1: Being Needy and Insecure With Your Man.

It's very natural to long for being closer to your partner and even more natural to be afraid of losing him. However, when a woman immediately develops an emotional dependency, the other side tends to back away. Bear in mind, that there's a thin line between needing someone and being emotionally dependable while triggering a man's insecurity alert. Men want to be with a woman, who is aware of her value and makes a free and conscious choice to be with him. When you lead a man to believe you are insecure or needy, you immediately become less attractive and practically kill any chance for a relationship. If a woman doesn’t think that she is worthy of a man's love, why would he think that?

• Mistake No #2: Desperately Trying to Please a Man
  

Most women believe that the best and shortest way to a man's heart is becoming exactly what he wants a woman to be. They think that once the man realizes that no other woman is as good to him as they are - he will act rationally and pick them. The problem is that the choices of the heart are often made irrationally. Surprisingly, many men do not tend to choose a woman that will do anything for them, but tend to pick the one that proves to be the most worthy of his efforts.

• Mistake No #3: Leading a Man to Think You Are Not in Control Over Your Feelings and Your Behavior.

The emotional turmoil that accompanies the process of infatuation is a powerful and addictive experience that most women enjoy to be swept away by. However, when a woman shows lack of control over her feelings, especially when she cannot control her reactions to disappointments, anger and insult - most men might give up at that point. Lack of emotional self-control is the opposite of the ideal stability, harmony and security we all wish to find in a good and long-term relationship.

• Mistake No #4: Choosing a Partner Based On Immediate Attraction.
  

While attraction is a prerequisite condition for any healthy relationship, many women rely completely on physical attraction when it comes to choosing their partners. This is a deadly mistake. The most attractive men are usually good looking, funny, self-confidant and experienced - but not necessarily trustful, reliable or ready for a meaningful relationship. Before spending your precious time and emotional resources on a man who has little to no potential to become your full time emotionally involved partner for life, its imperative that you learn how to quickly analyze a man’s relationship potential. Instead of just judging a man by attraction alone, you want to know how to identify the warning signs of a future bad relationship before wasting your emotions on a man that will leave you heartbroken and discouraged.

• Mistake No #5: Staying In a Relationship With an Emotionally Unavailable Man

Hoping that the routine or a new behavior that you might adopt, will make an emotionally unavailable man to suddenly take interest in you, fall in love with you and commit, is one of the deadliest mistakes you want to avoid if your aim is a long-term, healthy and loving relationship. It’s a fact that many men are capable of staying in a long relationship, even when they know it’s not what they wish for. They simply treat the relationship as one of temporary compromise with low self-involvement while waiting for something better to appear. On the other hand, the woman, who is already developed some feelings, continues to deepen her emotional involvement and wastes precious time and energy on a hopeless relationship that has no potential for growth, commitment or love.

Open Up to Love after Being Hurt

• The worst thing you can do is keep yourself in an endless cycle of relationships. You have to take a breather between relationships. That time in between is necessary to let go of any anger and release the baggage. No one, besides a therapist, wants to deal with you and your problems.
• If a relationship even has a tinge of "I'll get you through this," it is fated to fail because it will be based on neediness. He'll need to help you. You'll need to be helped. You'll hurt him with your words and actions. He'll stick it through because "he loves you." He'll start hurting you. You'll stick with him because "you love him." And it becomes one vicious mess that you could have avoided.
• You are fully empowered to take a break between relationships. It's like a breath of fresh air for your spirit. You get in tune with yourself so you don't become jaded, disillusioned, or embittered. If a man has hurt you in any way in a relationship, do not immediately enter another relationship. Do not even begin to fool yourself and say it's just sexual. That's just a relationship diversion. You have to deal with yourself before you can give yourself, in any capacity, to anyone.
• It's best to know why and what you want from a relationship. Don't try to replace the last man with a new man. Don't try to hurt anyone because you've been hurt. Don't become bitter because the last man was a jerk. What you perceive will become your reality. If, based on your experiences, you think all men are jerks and ain't about nothing, guess what type of men you're going to meet. Your perception is your reality.
• This is not to say that all relationships end so badly that you need time to heal. But even when one ends well you still need to take time for yourself. Comparing your new man to your ex is just as bad as being bitter -- it will ruin the relationship eventually. So always take time for yourself before dating or entering new relationships.
• Once you have allowed yourself to heal and you're no longer thinking about your ex or comparing other men to him, then you can consider dating. But always go into a relationship fresh. Leave behind the baggage and don't expect the new man to be a jerk or a dog.
• Expect the best treatment. Expect the best relationship. Don't become intimate immediately and don't start thinking this is the one. Get to know the man you're dealing with. Get to know him as your friend. Learn how to trust. Learn how to love. But do it slowly. Don't rush. A solid relationship needs a foundation of friendship, trust, respect, honesty, and love. It takes time to develop those qualities in each other.
• You can open yourself up to love, but know that love must be reciprocal. You will love him and he will love you. You will not need each other, but you will want each other. Love is not needy. Love is not possessive. Love is something that makes your life better and makes you feel happy.

Lesson:
Take a breather between each relationship to renew your spirit. It will give you time to know yourself and empower you to make better choices in relationships.